i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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