Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
