she woke up with a sticky ear
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
