so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm at about main and main street
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
