Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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