there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
