i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
