I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i now understand why vodka
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Success! We fucked roommates!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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