butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
