Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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