I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
