a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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