You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
