yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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