Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize