I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
