sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
