I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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