She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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