5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
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his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
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I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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