I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Drunk walkin through police station. America
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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