You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
