i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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