Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Less talking, more tequila
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
