you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize