i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
