He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
