38 yer olds are good kisserssss
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
