I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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