So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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