She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
