bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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