he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
