We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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