I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
