I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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