I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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