she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
