We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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