did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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