she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
