Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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