Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The chlamydia really affected his face.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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