just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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