i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
