Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
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How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
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Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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