I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize