come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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