Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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