Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
