There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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