your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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