its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
