So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Say something about gay babies.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize