I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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