tell your sister to shave her snatch
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
